Sunday, March 4, 2012

Words don't add up

we has always been my favorite word, but I as in you has always been your favorite word. All this time it has been we as in me trying to make things work, and we as in not you have been getting tired of all this work that I’ve had to put in. I mean where have you been in all this we? We don’t work because you are selfish. I mean how can me and you be a we if you’re always so worried about the I, as in I’m stupid for not knowing the right point of view. We’re collective, we are one, we are together, but I’m fine being singular, if we can’t make this plural thing work, because soon we will be you alone thinking of me and of how we are no longer. I wish we... see right there is where the problem begins. Its me hoping for we, but I can’t make we on my own. it’s we for a reason because it takes more than just me. it takes too people it takes a group collectively and willingly to join I together so that we are no longer I alone.
 I mean I’ve tried, 
I've fought,
I've cried, 
I've lost,
I've did the we but its always just been me hoping that you would join but how can I expect so much from you when you spell we with an I?
 How about you walk your singular ass out of my life? take your singular heart and feel those singular feelings and be singular as you like. But don’t look for us to be plural in the sheets, plural when your singular feelings start multiplying into, where is she, why did she leave me where is the we? But you’ll always have that one single thought of me. 
Those were just some thoughts that I probably would never say because I'm so emotional about us you think I'm crazy. But it's that crazy kind of crazy you feel when you love someone.
You will forever be stuck with the thoughts of how you had the right one right under your nose, but you turned the other way.I hope you can leave with that little thought, you really had it all be you decided to go the other way and chase things that clearly weren’t going to work. I guess as humans we shy away from the things that want us, but chase the things that won’t have us but I think you’ll be chasing me now. I’m no longer in your hands for your personal use I’m not longer worried about the we, I could care less about you and I together. I just want you to know that I’ve always loved the idea of us together, the thought of it filled me up with everything that was good. I would have done anything to make us work, I wanted you so bad. Don’t get wrong I still I love, and I always will but I can’t sit around hoping that you will realize that I’m the only one who truly really cares. I hope you’re happy though in whatever path you take, even if the path doesn’t lead to me. Just know that I will be here, always as a friend but never as anything more because I can’t handle you. I can’t handle the thought of all the effort that I put in and how I got absolutely nothing back from you. I’m learning thought how to be better with you and how I shouldn’t expect so much from you, and how we will never me you and me. Sometimes I sit and think about all the history that we have together and how we almost had it all like that Adele song, but of course you mess up as always but I can’t completely blame you because it was me who allowed you back in my life time and time again. I had the power to let you go but allowed you stayed in my life, causing me more and more heart ache that I clearly didn’t enjoy. But its okay I know I can move on this time, from all of this.
The more we sit here I realize that, we've been going through this same cycle and even though I love you more that I alone, I love me more than us together.

No comments:

Post a Comment